Do you know what a helgramite is? Neither did I until yesterday.
Let's back up for a sec. I have a completely irrational fear of cockroaches. Like I won't even touch a dead one. I won't let one be flushed down the toilet-even if it's dead. If I see one, I run screaming to the other side of the room, trembling until someone takes care of the situation. I have yet to be alone with one, and I imagine a moment like that would look something like a crying, shaking heap in a corner. Ridiculous.
So yesterday, the fella comes home from work and says, "Oh, I almost forgot, I have helgramites in my lunch box. I found them at work, they're in a water bottle. I can use them for bait when I fish."
"Huh. Well that's neat. Now you don't have to buy them."
He brought them over to me and held up the bottle. He was very proud of his find. I had a realization. Helgramites look like skinny cockroaches. I backed up to the counter, eyes wide, breathing heavily, voice shaking as I said, "Oh, that's so great. Uh huh. Awesome."
And then I started crying.
Not sobbing or anything, but eyes brimming with tears while the fella stared at me. At one point I said, "I don't know what's happening. This is not the reaction I expected." The fella said that he did not expect that reaction either-and really who would-and backed slowly away from the crazy person and put his little friends in the garage.
THEN, I decided that it was ridiculous for a grown woman to have such a strong and, frankly, insane reaction to a bug (well, bugs) trapped in a bottle. So, I tip-toed out to the garage, crept around the 4-wheeler, and looked down at the bottle sitting by the tires. I slowly lowered myself to the garage floor and looked at them. I even poked the bottle to see if they would move. I named one Helga and decided she's their leader.