Friday, November 9, 2012

Not a Reaction I Expected

Do you know what a helgramite is? Neither did I until yesterday.

Let's back up for a sec.  I have a completely irrational fear of cockroaches.  Like I won't even touch a dead one. I won't let one be flushed down the toilet-even if it's dead.  If I see one, I run screaming to the other side of the room, trembling until someone takes care of the situation.  I have yet to be alone with one, and I imagine  a moment like that would look something like a crying, shaking heap in a corner. Ridiculous.

So yesterday, the fella comes home from work and says, "Oh, I almost forgot, I have helgramites in my lunch box.  I found them at work, they're in a water bottle. I can use them for bait when I fish."

"Huh. Well that's neat.  Now you don't have to buy them."

He brought them over to me and held up the bottle.  He was very proud of his find.  I had a realization.  Helgramites look like skinny cockroaches.  I backed up to the counter, eyes wide, breathing heavily, voice shaking as I said, "Oh, that's so great. Uh huh. Awesome."

And then I started crying.

Not sobbing or anything, but eyes brimming with tears while the fella stared at me.  At one point I said, "I don't know what's happening. This is not the reaction I expected."  The fella said that he did not expect that reaction either-and really who would-and backed slowly away from the crazy person and put his little friends in the garage.

THEN, I decided that it was ridiculous for a grown woman to have such a strong and, frankly, insane reaction to a bug (well, bugs) trapped in a bottle.  So, I tip-toed out to the garage, crept around the 4-wheeler, and looked down at the bottle sitting by the tires.  I slowly lowered myself to the garage floor and looked at them.  I even poked the bottle to see if they would move.  I named one Helga and decided she's their leader.

True story.


  1. Oh my I know that you know I can fully understand your fear of and reaction to those helgramites. Tears and all. Had to laugh and then awwww. Congrats on overcoming your cockroachaphobia. Say hey to Helga for me!
    PS. You really are a very good writer.

    1. It was a stressful situation. And I'm still scared of cockroaches, but these are a little different. I think I can handle that!

  2. I cnat tpey .. laughing to hard.. oh I'm sorry I'm not laughing at you but with you .. tears and all laughter.. Glad you made friends with them for tomorrow they shall die..
    Love you

  3. And BTW I can't wait till I read this to your Uncle Dan.. will have to wait going to see Andrea tomorrow..


  4. I don't suppose there's a get over your fear of cockroaches program.